I think I have some irrational views about cellphones

Hi guys,

Man, you would not believe how difficult it was to get a cell phone.  I get now why everyone was recommending that I just get a burner (which apparently are quite common here in Tokyo, not just the purvey of drug dealers), but it's so much cheaper to get a monthly plan.  However, apparently it's also ridiculously complicated . . . they are literally stricter about what financial information they need than my real estate company was.  Ugh

But I finally got my cell phone, and with a great plan.  2800 yen (which I tell myself is $28, although with the current exchange rate actually waaaaay less) per month.  Unlimited minutes, but with the strange exception that I can only talk for 10 minutes at a time--which is kinda funny, but it's not a problem to simply tell my friends "hey, I'll call you back in ten seconds"

What's kinda cool, though, is that it illustrates something very interesting about Japanese culture and technology.  See, Japan has the rep for being incredibly advanced, especially in electronics.  And that's certainly true.  But culturally is a little different--it seems to me that once technology has reached a level that consumers appreciate, it more or less stays there.  Filing is still done largely by paper, because hey it works.  You still see row after row of the newest high-tech fax machines in every electronics store.  And while smart phones are definitely getting a strong foothold, this is a pretty recent development and there are still plenty of people that stick to simple flip phones

I don't know why this phenomena exists, but you see it everywhere in Tokyo.  Certain technological innovations that just never really caught on.  And as someone that's stuck with the flip phones when all of his friends were making the switch, this is an absolute dream come true.  This must be how fans of synthpop felt in the early 2000s when bands like The Killers were coming out.  Or someone who's a fan of 90s style boybands going to Korea now :P

It's like all of the industrial design that's been spent on smartphones got funneled into oldschool flip phones instead.  It's glorious

Look at that guy.  Pure matte black, looks like something out of a 90s sci-fi show

When was the last time you used the word "sleek" to describe a fliphone?  Ever??

Featureless, smooth front, until you push the button and the time magically appears

And buttons!  I like buttons, ok?  Your video keypads frustrate me.  Deal with it, Steve Jobs

To steal from Penny Arcade's review of the graphics in Odin Sphere, one of my favorite games of all time--as well as one of the most gorgeous ever created, since it featured  gorgeous hand-painted graphics that hadn't been popular for fifteen years:  "I would say that we had travelled [sic] back in time, but games of this type were never as beautiful.  It’s really more like we have travelled [sic] sideways, into another timeline where the sprite is still king"

I am in a land where the flip phone is still king, and it's glorious

Noah out

Tofu Shop!

Hey everybody,

One of the best things about living in small neighborhood on the edge of Tokyo (I mean, I still have double-digit storied skyscrapers, it is still the Tokyo area) is all of the small little shops.  There's a little stationary store down the block, plenty of tiny clothing stores.  But my favorite discover so far is this guy:

For those of you that can't read Japanese, that is a Tofu Shop.  Handmade tofu for next-to-nothing prices.  The only problem is that it's only open during the day and not on Sundays, but that's just kind of how Japan works.  And if getting tofu means I gotta jet out of work really quickly once or twice a week to make it before closing (or wake up early on Saturday to make it there before closing), I'm down with that

The tofu maker is there every day, as he probably has been for as long as anyone can remember.  He picks out your tofu for you by himself, and packages it in paper.  Over his shoulder you can see the other products, fried tofu, tofu skin, and all of the other accouterments

The main attraction though, is the basic tofu.  Kinu (soft) on the left, great for simmered dishes or eaten straight; momen (firm) on the right, great for stir-fries.  Both are made fresh daily.  It's only 160yen for a single serving's worth, which is an absolute steal



I've done a ton of different things with these, but for the post I thought I'd keep it simple:  Yu-dofu, simple simmered tofu.  Every Japanese person knows this dish, it's a staple of the season.  Most importantly, it's one of those tofu dishes that lets the subtle flavor and sweetness of the tofu come through--which when you have fresh delicious tofu is definitely a good thing

Take the kinu tofu, and simmer it in dashi stock until warm (5-6 minutes should be fine).  Top with reconstituted wakame seaweed and sliced green onions or other greenery, then season with chili flakes, soy sauce, and yuzu citrus juice.  Serve with the broth and a spoon

Now that's something to make you feel warm and happy on a winter's evening

Noah out

Picking a route on the Tokyo transit system, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the JR

(would ya look at that, after so many posts stealing the title format, Noah finally stopped pretending he was being original and made an overt reference to Dr. Strangelove)

Hi guys,

Tokyo has the best public transit system of any city I have ever visited.  Bar none.  Fast, efficient, reasonably cheap, and the joke that you can set your watch by the train arrivals is actually not much of an exaggeration

I try to make this blog, which is mostly about my life, a little interesting by making sure that each post also tells at least a little bit about Tokyo.  Or I guess I try to take this blog, which is about Tokyo, a little more personal by making sure that each post tells a little bit about me.  Or maybe it's a third option and the zebra is actually bright green but that's immaterial because it's completely covered with both black and white stripes.  I dunno . . .

Regardless, this piece is simultaneously my short novel on the tricks learned and troubles I've encountered as well as a description of my single crazy day on the Tokyo.  And by single crazy day I mean every Thursday.  Man it is exhausting.  Let me begin:

So first, when picking a route it's important to lay out the priorities.  In general, I rank them thusly:

1. The fastest route.  Not uncommonly my top priority, especially when I need to be somewhere at some ungodly hour of the morning (i.e. anything before like 2pm).  Usually this is the most direct route, although not always due to express trains that might take you a little out of your way but will ultimately get you there more quickly.  Usually this is the route with fewest transfers as well, although not always because sometimes it's faster to get off and cut a corner
2. The cheapest route.  When I have time flexibility, I will generally opt for the cheapest route possible.  A hundred yen here, a hundred yen there, and suddenly you just scored a free beer.  This is a little tricky, as in general fares are path independent.  Which is to say that your fare is calculated based only on your origin and destination stations (I have a rechargeable debit card that I just tap at each place and get it deducted automatically).  However, when changing between systems such as from Japan Railways trains to Tokyo Metro's subways or a few scattered private lines, a separate ticket must be purchased--this is almost always more expensive than taking only a single system
3. The most comfortable route.  Ahh yes, here is where a little bit artistry is required, some undefinable skill, the darkest of sourceries.  Knowing when to transfer, which trains at which times are more likely to have seats available during rush hour (or at least not as likely to be stuffed to the gills).  Fastest and cheapest can be calculated by any computer app, so this is where the true Tokyo transit veteran separates him or herself from the masses.  I don't claim that level of expertise, but I'm trying

Thus, here is my Thursday, which starts with a 6am wakeup (this is the most terrifying and awful thing that has ever happened in my life.  Truly disgusting).  Then it begins . . .

Leg one:  Nishikawaguchi to Osaki.  1 hour

• Keihin-Tohoku line to Tabata.  6 stops
• Transfer to Yamanote line to Osaki.  14 stops (there are many other place to transfer, but Tabata provides me with the best opportunity to grab a seat because of the large turnover two stops later at Ueno)

(Teach for an hour)

Leg two:  Osaki to Seijogakuenmae.  1 hour

• Saikyo line to Shinjuku.  7 stops although actually fewer because the Saikyo is an express
• Transfer to Odakyu line (private) to Seijogakuenmae.  13 stops, but I always take the express so it's only 4 (the Odakyu line is private, meaning I have to buy a separate ticket to take it, which is expensive and stupid)

(Teach for another hour)

Leg three:  Seijogakuenmae to Kashiwa-Tanaka.  Like 2 and a half hours.  This is the terrible one-I end up taking the long way around because I can't go very far on the private Tsukuba Express line without it costing me like 8 bucks.  This route is like half an hour longer at least but costs like 4 bucks less

• Odakyu line (private) to Shinjuku.  13 stops but skipping a bunch as discussed
• Transfer to Saikyo line to Akabane.  7 stops but skipping a bunch again, yay express trains!
• Transfer to Keihin-Tohoku line to Minami-Urawa.  4 stops (technically I could sit on the Saikyo all the way to Musashi-Urawa and transfer there, but this transfer cuts out 3 stops and like 10 minutes)
• Transfer to Musashino line to Minami-Nagareyama.  9 stops
• TTransfer to Tsukuba Express line (private) to Kashiwa-Tanaka.  4 stops (even just those few stops on the Tsukuba cost as much as the entire rest of the trip.  God I hate that line)

(Ok cool, this class is for two hours)

Leg three:  Kashiwa-Tanaka to Nishikawaguchi.  1 hour

• Tsukuba Express line (private) to Minami-Nagareyama.  4 stops
• Transfer to Musashino line to Minami-Urawa.  9 stops
• Transfer to Keihin-Tohuku line to Nishikawaguchi.  2 stops

And finally home!

That's my day, every single Thursday.  It's pretty awesome, I'm getting really good at it

However, for those of you that have actually made it all the way to the bottom (and wow, I'm impressed) . . . I have a confession:  I've been disingenuous with you all.  As foreshadowed above, the zebra is indeed bright green, and the entire and sole purpose of this blog post was just to brag.  Just like Simon Tam talking to the crew in the pilot episode, I needed to explain all of this so that you would understand the full meaning of my next statement:

Last week, I managed to do this entire trip, that is twelve train rides . . . without leaving my umbrella behind on a single one.  I mean, ok, I did leave it behind at the office where I taught my first class, but I totally remembered in time to go back and get it.  Yup.  I'm pretty awesome.  And, frankly, pretty surprised

God I lose so many umbrellas . . .

Noah out

Kururi Ramen, look for the line

Hi everyone,

So, I went to school in LA and spent pretty much all four years looking for Chinese restaurants.  Let me explain:

See, LA's Chinatown is famous, a ton of really well-known restaurants.  But the people that work at those restaurants don't eat at them, nor even live in Chinatown.  To find them, head ten to twenty minutes East on the 10 until you get to the San Gabriel Valley:  San Gabriel, Monterey Park, Arcadia, and a few more towns.  One of the largest concentrations of Chinese immigrants in North America, which means some of the best Chinese restaurants you can find

However, this has its drawbacks.  What is a young man to do lost amidst entire towns where Chinese lettering is more common than English, when each block contains a strip mall with two levels of restaurants?  Well research helped, I do love me the interwebs.  But when that failed, I came up with a few rules and guidelines

Chief among these guidelines was this near-ironclad rule:  When you see two restaurants in the same strip mall that have very similar menus but one is empty and the other has a line out the door . . . welp, that's worth checking out

Long line?  Check.  And this wasn't even during peak lunch hours

Another good rule?  All other things being equal, places with huge signs and banners and pictures of food are nice, but it's the ones that are confident enough to do without that are often the best

Little promotion?  Double check.  This place literally doesn't even display its name

Another good rule?  Places that can stay in business with only a small dining room, often worth checking out

Small size?  Triple check.  There are only seven seats in the restaurant

Oh, and did I mention that they specialize in my favorite kind of ramen:  Miso ramen (from up in Northern Japan), which is really hard to find here in Tokyo

Anyways, I generally try to avoid actually waiting in those aforementioned long lines, and try to come back during less peak hours.  Sadly, that doesn't really work with Kururi, because it always has a line.  I went at 3pm, and they still had a line

Two people were not visible in this shot, but I was the eighth person in line.  Meaning that if the entire restaurant emptied, I still wouldn't have gotten a seat

So, the verdict?  Now, you know I wouldn't say this lightly, so mark my words on this:  There is a very good chance that this is the best miso ramen in Tokyo.  Better than Ichigen, better than Hanada, better than Keisuke.  I stand by that.  Thick and rich, and when you add a giant clump of spicy miso (for only 50 yen, so really why wouldn't you) it's roughly the same texture as a nice porridge.  The flavor is full, the noodles are thick and chewy, and the pork is of course meaty and delicious.  A+, would wait in line for an hour again

With all the toppings, literally only 1000 yen.  Absolutely worth the wait

This is why we have rules, people

Noah out

The people of Koishikawa Korakuen Gardens

Hey everybody,

Today I decided to take advantage of a long lunch break to check out what might be my last opportunity to see the vaunted, famous fall leaves here in Japan.  Fortunately, I happen to work very near Koishikawa Korakuen Gardens--one of the few locations in Japan that's managed to earn dedication as both a "Special Historic Site" and a "Special Place of Scenic Beauty" (Japanese love certifying things, and it's hard to tell just how important something is based only on that.  But considering that the list of places that have earned both distinctions is short and filled with things like Hama Rikyu Gardens and Kinkakuji I think it's worthy of respect)

Originally built by one of the early Tokugawa Shoguns in the early 1600s, the gardens has been expanded and preserved over the last 400 years.  Carefully tended trees and terraced paths, with plantlife arrayed to take advantage of the changing seasons, abound for the roughly 20 acres of the park.  Honestly, at 300 yen it's a steal of a way to spend at least an hour wandering around

I overheard someone saying that she was annoyed because there were too many people.  I sympathized with her for a second, until I realized that she was completely wrong.  Especially to me, wanting people out of the way so you can get a perfect photograph is a) futile, in that there are dozens of people wandering these gardens, b) pointless, as my camera is not nearly good enough to capture all of the amazing sights and colors, but most importantly c) myopic, in that it misses part of the whole point of the garden.  Let me explain:

See, as remarkable as the beauty of this garden is, the most remarkable part is that it exists at all.  Economists were fond of saying that, through much of the 80s and 90s, that the land just within Tokyo city limits was worth more than the entire State of California.  And so why then, did 20 acres of prime real estate in the middle of Central Tokyo, get left as garden?  And not just Koishikawa, there are dozens of gardens, some even larger (Ueno Park, the Imperial Palace, Hama Rikyu)

It's because people are willing to value natural beauty here.  Every day, dozens probably hundreds of people come here to take pictures, stroll around, even just eat their lunch.  That's pretty spectacular, don't you think?  That the desire to have something pretty to look at in the center of the city is more valuable than the uncountable amount of money that could be made developing the land

And I'm not saying this is solely a Japanese things, hardly.  New York's Central Park has some absolutely gorgeous sections.  And Volunteer Park in Seattle, to name one of many, is sitting on many millions of dollars worth of land.  The value of natural beauty is not a Japanese but a very human thing.  But it does seem very, very Japanese to take this land and truly preserve it as something spectacular

Everyone else was taking pictures of the beautiful garden.  I decided to try my hand at taking pictures of people, people enjoying the beautiful garden

All in all, a pretty spectacular way to spend 300 yen on a sunny autumn midmorning.  I'm very glad that I'm not the only person that thinks that way.  There are a lot of people that agree with me.  And spending lunctime somewhere like that makes it a lot easier to go back to something like this, literally two blocks away from the front gate:

Next time, I'll bring my lunch as well

Noah out

I have an apartment!!!

Hey guys,

Big news!  After almost four months, I have finally got all of my paperwork squared away--job, visa, everything.  And this week, the final piece of the puzzle slid in.  I have an apartment

My friend Dan put it perfectly:  "So you can finally get down to living, instead of just existing?"

That's it exactly

And not just an apartment, an apartment with which I'm really very happy.  It's not perfect, but it's a great price and I got a great deal moving in.  Also, and this is a pretty big deal--it came partially furnished.  Honestly, from my first night I felt pretty fantastic there

I'm living up in Nishikawaguchi, just North of Tokyo--technically I'm not in Tokyo at all, not even in the same prefecture.  But I'm just over the river, only about a half an hour train ride from either Shinjuku or Tokyo stations, the two main stations in the city.  It's a great location, I promise I'll be taking lots of pictures of the neighborhood

But in the mean time, here are a bunch of pictures I took of my new place!

Yes, the first thing I did was plug in my laptop and test out the internet.  Because duh.  Although check out the size of that tv!!  Even the real estate agent that showed me the place was surprised.  Gotta pick up an HDMI cable soon

I am going to spend a lot of time sitting at that desk, I imagine.  The huge amount of natural light coming in is an *awesome*, and I can keep those doors open in the summer

Small table, it's bolted to the wall which is a little annoying because I'd like some more flexibility to rearrange.  But hey, I'll take it--even ignoring the rest of the great furnishings, just having a table and two chairs is awesome

Here's the far side of the apartment, decently sized closet and a nice loft.  Also, full-length mirror, which is honestly pretty nice to have included because I will definitely use it but never would have bought one myself

The loft itself is huge, like 10-12' long.  There's a nice little alcove which has a power outlet (you use this word, alcove?), and a light.  Plus the window in the back opens, which will be amazing in the summer

The only downside is that the kitchen is tiny.  Sadly, that was true of pretty much every place I looked at.  And at least it has two burners instead of only one, which was actually pretty uncommon--according to my friends, very uncommon.  So that's nice

The fridge is small, I may buy a full-sized one and convert this small one into a drinks fridge in the living room.  Also, signs you might be a bartender:  One of the first things you do after moving into a new apartment is fill an ice tray.  Seriously, I don't even own any glasses yet.  But when I do, dammit I'm gonna have ice [edit: Wait, I do have a glass.  I brought out my favorite tumbler from America.  And really, packing your favorite whiskey glass is another sign you might be a bartender]

I know, I know.  It's amazing.  I've peaked.  It's all downhill from here  (Actually, since it's right off the kitchen, my plan is to build in a removable countertop  to augment my kitchen.  Cuz you know, I only do laundry like once a month)

Bathroom is nice as well.  Separate bath from toilet, with the traditional Japanese-syle short but deep bathtub.  And with the weather getting chilly, that is going to see a *lot* of use

Here's the birds-eye view of the apartment, I'm really happy!  The light is fantastic, and if I turn the loft into my sleeping and storage areas, I can have that whole area set up for entertaining.  I'm excited!

And one little touch, one of my prize possessions--wrapped in a dozen layers of plastic wrap, then a jacket, then kept in the middle of my suitcase surrounded by clothes.  I have moved across the ocean (no seriously, I actually did it!!), but I brought a little bit of Seattle with me

Here we are!  Thank you so much to everyone that's been supporting me, I'm really happy with this.  And as many of you are probably thinking . . . yes there is enough room for a decent-sized couch.  Meaning the Noah T Bed & Breakfast will be up and running soon . . .

Cheers!

Noah out

Oh High School, glad to see you never change

Hi guys,

So as many of you know, I've been part-time teaching English here in Japan since it's by far the easiest way to get a visa.  Usually, I teach business English in one-on-one lessons, but occasionally I do other things.  One day a week, for instance, I teach an hour-long English class at a private high school--which is very different indeed from one-on-one with adults.  But I manage

One interesting note about teaching English is that it's always a good idea to keep in mind the first language of all the students (in this case, Japanese, duh).  For instance, take the concepts of articles and plurals:  A/the pencil, an/the eraser, the scissors.  This is no problem for Spanish speakers, because those concepts exist in Spanish: Un/el lapiz, una/la goma, las tijeras.  They do not, however, exist in Japanese--every noun has a single form no matter how many there are, and there are no articles.  It makes sense when speaking, you just always have to make sure to use the other words to contextualize

Thus, concepts like the definite versus the indefinite article (adding in the fact that there is no indefinite article for plurals), go from being whisked past on the first day of class to actually somewhat advanced.  Well, not advanced, but certainly worth reviewing to make sure they have it (because hell, I have problems with this concept with my adult students)

My point is that going through simple sentences like "I have/want/like _____" shows up even in high school classes, where they have a pretty good command of the language due to the past man years of taking English classes.  Anyways, that was just background so that you can fully appreciate my latest work of Art.  Inspired by true events, I've written a one-act (one-scene, really) play entitled "High School Humor"



"High School Humor"

A play in One Act

by Noah T***

Inspired by true events

SCENE 1

[Many desks are arranged in a circle.  TEACHER stands at the head of the classes, with STUDENT A, STUDENT B, STUDENT C, and chorus seated in the desks]

TEACHER:  "Ok, so we'll go around.  Everyone make a sentence with 'I want' and then anything you want.  STUDENT A, you go first"
STUDENT A:  "I want . . ." [thinking]
STUDENT B:  "A girlfriend!"
[all laugh]
STUDENT A:  [still thinking]
STUDENT C:  "A boyfriend?"
[all laugh much harder]

CURTAIN



It's comforting to know that some things don't change.  Not just the subject matter, but the fact that managing to make a joke in foreign language class turns even the meagerest of japes into a Wildeian witticism.  But mostly the picture-perfect format of this conversation that could happen probably in any language in any country in the world

By my estimate, I am 10 years, 5,000 miles, and 3 lifetimes away from that fateful first period Japanese class.  So long ago.  But the point is, I'm pretty sure that joke would have gone over just as well.  Hell, I wish I still had the ability to ask for confirmation, because there's a decent chance we had pretty much that exact same exchange.  If I had to guess, I was probably STUDENT B

Noah out

Shinatetsu Ramen Street

Hi everybody,

Now, there is one good thing to come of my repeated trips to the Immigration office over the last month.  And that's that I got to make multiple visits to Shinatetsu Ramen in Shinagawa--a conglomeration of seven well-known ramen chains within one block

Oh yeah, it's as awesome as you're imagining

Tucked underneath the train tracks, there's no good way to get a picture

These picture were taking mid-afternoon.  Around lunchtime, the lines are waaay longer

Now, a quick explanation:  Ramen is an incredibly varied cuisine.  Although the texture and thickness of the noodles varies, as well as the assortment of the toppings, the main focus of each unique shop is its broth.  With just a few exceptions, ramen broth falls into four categories:

• Tonkotsu, pork bone based broth.  Rich and flavorful.  Though originally from Kyushu (the Southwest region of Japan), this is by far the most popular broth here in Tokyo
• Shoyu, soy sauce based broth.  Strong flavor but light texture.  Originally the style most popular in Tokyo, it's still very popular probably because it's the easiest to make at home
• Shio, salt based broth.  The lightest broth, with the subtlest of flavors.  Despite the name, not particularly salty--this is simply the name for the lightest of broths, allowing a much more subtle expression of flavors.  Probably because those softer flavors take more skill to acheive this is one of the least common and least popular broths
• Miso, erm . . . miso based broth.  Thick and hearty.  My personal favorite, although very difficult to find here in Tokyo.  Originally from Hokkaido, way up North, which actually is where my family is from so I guess that explains it

Without further ado, here have been my experiences so far at Shinatetsu:

Maybe my favorite, black miso ramen from Keisuke.  Charred bamboo, as well as a blend of  spices, give this a bold savory flavor.  The thicker noodles (traditional to Hokkaido) match with the hearty broth perfectly

A nice surprise, traditional chicken broth--basically a tonkotsu ramen, but with chicken bones instead.  Cleaning the borth repeatedly gives it that pale white color and an incredibly light flavor.  Add in a topping of roasted chicken (makes me a bit homesick) instead of the traditional pork, and this was totally unexcpected and delicious

Very traditional tonokotsu ramen from Nansutei.  The straight, thinner noodles are also traditional to Kyushu.  I did mix it up, however, but going with the topping set of raw onions and braised pork--the brightness of the onions was a really great contrast to the heavy broth

Switching things up, a tsukemen--dipped ramen, where the noodles are served separate from the broth and dipped in as you eat.  The broth is a shio, very very light.  This allows them to accentuate their choice of added flavor, in this case umeboshi, Japanese salted plum.  Light flavor, slightly sweet slightly sour, with some earthy sesame seeds floating on top to tie it together.  Absolutely a winner

And there we have it!  This is of course only the barest subsection of the world of ramen.  I hope to be able to update you all on some more different kinds soon!  But if you're in Tokyo and you want to see as many different types of ramen in one place, Shinatetsu is not a bad place to be . . .

Of *course* there's a gift shop

Noah out

Oh my god I finally have my Visa holy crap that took forever

Hey everybody,

So sorry it's been a while since my last post, I've been pretty much nothing but one giant pent-up bundle of nerves for the last few weeks as I finalize all of my visa stuff.  This has been unbelievably complicated.  Let me explain.  No, there is too much, let me sum up:

1. Get job
2. Work applies for Certificate of Eligibilty
3. Receive CoE
4. Take CoE to Immigration (the exact same office, literally same building, from which work obtained the CoE by the way)

   

   Journal Entry:  Sunny day, cautiously optimistic.  Every single one of the eight or so turns from the train station to the bus stop for Immigration has a big sign pointing the way.  I'd feel patronized, except they were actually really helpful

5. Wait an hour or more in a queue
6. Get looked at for about thirty seconds, have a few pieces of paper either removed from or added to my folder, then get told to go wait in a different queue in a different section of the building

   

   Journal Entry:  Morale fading.  This is godless country.  The screaming of children is ubiquitous.  Babies, stop crying in Immigration. We get that you're not having a good time.  Actually, the sounds of children playing take place at the same octave as children crying, so I don't even know which I prefer

7. Repeat Steps 5 and 6 three more times

   

   Journal Entry:  Hour 5 (not exaggerating in the least, and that was only one of the days), morale precarious.  Madness has begun to set in.  Boredom and hunger leading to hallucinations, other people waiting are starting, Looney-Tunes-style, to look like hamburgers, chicken legs, etc.

8. Run out of time, have to go to work
9. Report back the next day
10. Repeat Steps 5 and 6 another two times

    

    Journal Entry:  A new day, but regardless it starts off with that depressing moment when you realize that every single one of those people is, by definition, ahead of you in line.  The very concept of "morale" seems a fantasy, a distant memory from idyllic youth

11. Finally submit visa application, get told that it will take an indeterminate amount of time between one and three weeks
12. Receive postcard in the mail that visa is ready! (yes, really, mail.  No phone, no email, mail is the only way they notify you)
13. Go to Immigration and immediately pick up my visa which has already been prepared
14. Haha just kidding!  First, go through Steps 5 and 6 two more times

    

    Journal Entry:  Hello darkness, my old friend.  At least I learned from experience and brought a snack this time.  Sta-don in Shinagawa, which is short for "Stamina donburi (rice bowl)".  Which was encouraging, because that's what I needed

15. Finally, finally, finally.  That sweet, sweet piece of plastic.  The clouds part, the angelic choir sings, the streets are made of rainbows.  Though we have walked through the darkness of bureaucracy, we have emerged into the glorious light of certification.  It was all worth it

Here we are.  97 days after landing at Narita, I am now officially and unequivocally cleared to remain here in Japan for the next 5 years.  It feels good.  It feels great

The only downside of this whole ordeal?  I will never, ever, ever be able to watch one of my favorite episodes of Futurama, How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back, the same way ever again.  I just can't laugh in the same way at bureaucracy any more :(

Noah out



(keeping in mind, though, that all of this was happening parallel to another set of bullshit complications over at the US Embassy while I attempted to get my passport renewed.  But that is a story even more arduous and terrible than the Japanese Immigration one, and simply cannot be told without truly terrible levels of anger and profanity.  Trust me, you don't want to know)