Oh my god I finally have my Visa holy crap that took forever

Hey everybody,

So sorry it's been a while since my last post, I've been pretty much nothing but one giant pent-up bundle of nerves for the last few weeks as I finalize all of my visa stuff.  This has been unbelievably complicated.  Let me explain.  No, there is too much, let me sum up:

1. Get job
2. Work applies for Certificate of Eligibilty
3. Receive CoE
4. Take CoE to Immigration (the exact same office, literally same building, from which work obtained the CoE by the way)

   

   Journal Entry:  Sunny day, cautiously optimistic.  Every single one of the eight or so turns from the train station to the bus stop for Immigration has a big sign pointing the way.  I'd feel patronized, except they were actually really helpful

5. Wait an hour or more in a queue
6. Get looked at for about thirty seconds, have a few pieces of paper either removed from or added to my folder, then get told to go wait in a different queue in a different section of the building

   

   Journal Entry:  Morale fading.  This is godless country.  The screaming of children is ubiquitous.  Babies, stop crying in Immigration. We get that you're not having a good time.  Actually, the sounds of children playing take place at the same octave as children crying, so I don't even know which I prefer

7. Repeat Steps 5 and 6 three more times

   

   Journal Entry:  Hour 5 (not exaggerating in the least, and that was only one of the days), morale precarious.  Madness has begun to set in.  Boredom and hunger leading to hallucinations, other people waiting are starting, Looney-Tunes-style, to look like hamburgers, chicken legs, etc.

8. Run out of time, have to go to work
9. Report back the next day
10. Repeat Steps 5 and 6 another two times

    

    Journal Entry:  A new day, but regardless it starts off with that depressing moment when you realize that every single one of those people is, by definition, ahead of you in line.  The very concept of "morale" seems a fantasy, a distant memory from idyllic youth

11. Finally submit visa application, get told that it will take an indeterminate amount of time between one and three weeks
12. Receive postcard in the mail that visa is ready! (yes, really, mail.  No phone, no email, mail is the only way they notify you)
13. Go to Immigration and immediately pick up my visa which has already been prepared
14. Haha just kidding!  First, go through Steps 5 and 6 two more times

    

    Journal Entry:  Hello darkness, my old friend.  At least I learned from experience and brought a snack this time.  Sta-don in Shinagawa, which is short for "Stamina donburi (rice bowl)".  Which was encouraging, because that's what I needed

15. Finally, finally, finally.  That sweet, sweet piece of plastic.  The clouds part, the angelic choir sings, the streets are made of rainbows.  Though we have walked through the darkness of bureaucracy, we have emerged into the glorious light of certification.  It was all worth it

Here we are.  97 days after landing at Narita, I am now officially and unequivocally cleared to remain here in Japan for the next 5 years.  It feels good.  It feels great

The only downside of this whole ordeal?  I will never, ever, ever be able to watch one of my favorite episodes of Futurama, How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back, the same way ever again.  I just can't laugh in the same way at bureaucracy any more :(

Noah out



(keeping in mind, though, that all of this was happening parallel to another set of bullshit complications over at the US Embassy while I attempted to get my passport renewed.  But that is a story even more arduous and terrible than the Japanese Immigration one, and simply cannot be told without truly terrible levels of anger and profanity.  Trust me, you don't want to know)